Categories
Uncategorized

2 Things To Remember When Dealing With Difficult Church Members

It is my honor to coach pastors—pastors from small and large churches, from traditional and non-traditional settings. Regardless of context, leadership always involves leading people, and people come in a variety of shapes and sizes.

Leadership is both an art and science, and despite your divine calling, you must learn the skill of leading your church, organization, and followers. In my experience coaching pastors, many pastors struggle to lead persons who may have a strong personality, high influence, are in opposition to the vision of the pastor, may be self-centered, or any number of other personality conflicts.

Carey Nieuwhof from Connexus Church said “leading people is harder than reading Greek” and I agree; It’s doable but challenging. Even Moses and the Apostle Paul struggled with some of the people assigned to them, and you will as well.

It is important to remember that you pastor ALL the people, not just the ones that agree with you. Here are 2 simple reminders that will help you lead difficult individuals in your church.

1. USE YOUR AUTHORITY AS A LAST RESORT.

There are 2 levels of leadership—relational and positional. In today’s culture, positional authority is not well received or followed. If you have to remind people that you are the leader, you may not be! The better approach is to build relationships, yes, even with those who are difficult. Of course, it’s easier to spend time with people who agree and support you, but the best return for your time may be spent with those who need to know you, to hear your heart and to understand the reasons for how you lead.  Rest assured, you will not win over everyone or get everyone to agree, but you’ll never regret the time you spend in this way. There may come a time when you have to use your positional authority but only do so as a last resort.

[bctt tweet=”If you have to remind people you are the leader, you may not be!” username=”billisaacs”]

2. THE ISSUE YOU SEE MAY NOT BE THE REAL ISSUE.

People rarely give you straight answers, and most people never give the true reasons behind their decisions or actions.  More than once in my leadership, I have thought the issue was one thing only to find it was really something else entirely. I’m coming to believe that there are some things a leader cannot see until God opens their eyes to see it.  Elisha prayed for his servant that God would open his eyes to allow him to see what was really there. Once his eyes were opened, he saw the real truth of God’s provision.  The same is true of you and your leadership. There is often more going on than you can see with natural eyes. Be careful not to react to what you see but instead pray about what you are seeing and ask God for wisdom.  He loves to give it to you!

Your pastoral career will be marked by the people you lead, and they will bring you the most joy and the most sorrow. It is common to hear a retired pastor lament how much they miss the people they once led. At the end of the day, how you lead people and relate to them determines your measure of success in ministry. Lead well!

Want More?

We send out 1 email every month to share something new with you. No spam. No upsells. Just a new idea or resource. If you’re interested provide your email below.

Bill Isaacs
Bill has served in Church Leadership for over 30 years, and provides coaching to pastors as the Director for the Center for Pastoral Excellence.
Bill Isaacs

By Bill Isaacs

Bill has served in Church Leadership for over 30 years, and provides coaching to pastors as the Director for the Center for Pastoral Excellence.